Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

I tell you, the government’s worse than a wife. They got all the power, they got half the money. Now they’re working on getting the other half.

Always overpay your taxes. That way you’ll get a refund.

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

George Bush has raised taxes on the people driving pickup trucks and lowered taxes on the people riding in limousines. We can do better.